Don’t Take Rejection From Hiring Teams Personally!!! They Don’t Know You!!!
I came across a Linkedin post of someone today who was sharing what they had learned from an interaction with a member from a hiring team. Basically, they wanted him to explain a gap in employment. To me that is a euphemism for “I have a lack of imagination.” So, because I do not have a problem with lack of imagination, I decided to share some thoughts to inspire jobseekers and challenge people who are trusted to make hiring decisions. I hope this serves anyone who encounters it.
I was a recruiter for 8 years and have been studying human motivation and storytelling for over 15 years working as a pastor and bridger (bringing people together across differences). What I can tell you for certain is that many most people and especially people who are trusted to make decisions, such as many hiring managers, are extremely fearful of making a mistakes that they might be held accountable for. In their minds, if you suck at your job, it is their fault. And they are not trying to be punished for your failures. So, their expectations of you are very high. Your expectations of yourself have to be higher.
Fearful hiring managers use judgment rather than discernment when making a hiring decision. They don’t look for the story behind your career which will include everything you’ve done and what you are currently doing, as well as your aspirations, motivations, and inspirations i.e. what drives you toward a future. All they want to know is whether if what you did do and what you are doing can get plugged into what the company needs you to do now. If that isn’t clear enough for them to be able to claim plausible deniability if you get hired and don’t do well, then you are not getting past them.
Let’s be honest, there are few things more American than being able to say, “It’s not my fault. The only reason I _________ was because ___________.” The majority of us love telling others to take responsibility while doing everything we can to avoid taking it ourselves. Many hiring managers are no different. They were educated that way from the earliest of days.
Like most people who grew up in the American public school system or most religious institutions, they have been taught to get the “right answer” over actually learning. It’s unfortunate but true. And when you take their inability to see you personally, you are just playing into the broken Pavlovian pass/fail, win/lose, reward/punishment polarizing paradigm that ultimately robs everyone.
We Make Mistakes. But it’s OK. Because We Get Better Every Day
Whenever my daughters start stressing about mistakes or perceived failings, I say the above statement to them and tell them, “Don’t let this lazy world steal your genius!”
Buckminster Fuller, one of my favorite and often quoted thinkers said,
“Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes.”
I subscribe to this and its corollary, which is, if you are not making mistakes you are not learning.
He also said, “Mistakes are great, the more I make the smarter I get”.
So, your primary job as jobseeker is to first, make as many mistakes as you can and learn from them. Your second job is to learn what it takes for you to get to the people who actually can make decisions. If you are taking the traditional route to find work, the best way to get to them is to help the people between you and the decision makers feel like a hero for making an introduction. Let them know that the mistake they are afraid of making is letting you walk away without making an introduction.
And to do that, you have to understand that they are powerless to hire you and only have the power to make an introduction. Right size your energy to what the moment can really accomplish. Often jobseekers overwhelm people who literally can’t help you get hired and are more focused on keeping their own job than helping you get one. Just tell them as much of your story that they need to know to not turn you away.
Also, don’t apologize for gaps on employment. It has literally been decades since that was even remotely relevant. When a person asks you to explain an employment gap, they are basically asking you to tell the a compelling story that provides some continuity between your last paid job and this one. They are also telling you that they are afraid of making a mistake and need you to help them feel safe. A great story can do that.
Loving What You Do Is an Extension of Loving Who You Are
Remember that just because no one is paying you doesn’t mean you have to stop working on projects. Whenever I am between paid gigs, I volunteer at orgs that I want to see succeed or create my own projects that I would like to see flourish in the world–whether it is learning something new, writing articles, creating podcasts or videos. Or poking the bear with my Linkedin newsletter. You can do that too and tell folks about it and how it will help you succeed wherever you land.
Note: Etymologically speaking, an amateur is someone who does something for the love of doing it. Kind of like my writing. Even though I get paid to write, speak, and teach, I would be doing it for free anyway. What is something that you would do for the love of it and how could you leverage that in your job search?
Even though this truth has been largely educated out of most of us, each of us is a source of infinite creative capacity and this is life is an amazing learning adventure. Embrace your jobseeking journey as part of it. Make it fun.
People tell me all the time that, for my age, it seems like I have lived a thousand lives. I have. The way I look at it, every breath is a new life. With every breath, we can make a decision of who and how we want to be. The key is to make the decision to live like there are infinite possibilities before you, because there are.
With this breath, I am calling on recruiters and hiring managers to dare to LISTEN TO what people have to offer rather than LISTENING FOR how moving them forward might reflect on you. You might learn something valuable. And I am calling on jobseekers to know that your worth is not measured in dollars and cents. It is measured by your ability to look yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, “I choose to make every breath count.”
Your breath is your most valuable resource. Don’t invest in anything that doesn’t add to your life and the lives of others. You are worth every valuable breath.
Higher Up Consulting 